Factors Producing Conflict

On your program you see three factors listed which I want to look at briefly.  Being aware of these before you discuss an issue can be extremely helpful.
 
As you think about it there are probably frequent conflict issues that come up in your home.  Many couples find that a majority of their conflicts center around sex, money, parenting, in-laws, leisure time, and holidays.  If you have a recurring theme, it might be good to take some time to get that behind you.  

Also there are times when you are most vulnerable to conflict – stress, over- commitment, busyness, not enough couple time together, children being particularly difficult, time of day, hormones, fatigue/lack of sleep, hunger, etc.  Don’t talk when these things will cause a problem.

Many times there are behaviors on both sides which can sabotage constructive conflict, things like:  tone of voice, speaking volume, personal attacks, bringing up past mistakes and failures, exaggerations, overgeneralizations – “You always, never …”, lack of listening skills, lack of interest in other person’s views, interrupting, not giving the other person time to think over the problem, anger, being judgmental, jumping to conclusions, nagging, whining, etc.

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